FUN on the WEB vol 5 issue 4

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 5 Issue 4 January 23, 2006


Breaking the law to spy on American citizens is a very
serious abuse of power, but many members of Congress
think people will let it slide. Here is a petition that
asks for a special prosecutor—like Patrick Fitzgerald—to
find out the facts, and asks Congress to hold a real
investigation into what happened. If you disagree with
these affronts to the Constitution and want to help,
just go to:
http://political.moveon.org/ruleoflaw


When is the Chinese New Year's Day in Year 2006?
January 29, 2006 is the first day of the new year.
(get your cleaning done soon since its bad luck to do
so on Chinese New Years Day)

Its a great time to visit your favorite local Chinese
restaurant because they have special meals to offer.
This will be the Year of the Dog 4703.

Chinese new year as a 15 Day Festival plus menus
http://www.muddlepuddle.co.uk/Chinese%20new%20year/Our%20Spring%20Festival.htm


"Chinese New Year starts with the New Moon on the first
day of the new year and ends on the full moon 15 days
later. The 15th day of the new year is called the Lantern
Festival, which is celebrated at night with lantern
displays and children carrying lanterns in a parade."
http://www.educ.uvic.ca/faculty/mroth/438/CHINA/chinese_new_year.html



Loads of info about the Chinese calendar and the annual
celebration of spring and dragons.
http://www.chinapage.com/newyear.html


Last years info on Chinese New Year's
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/2005/02/fun-on-web-vol-4-issue-5.html




Have you heard about the Million Dollar Homepage?
http://news.com.com/2061-11200_3-5862953.html
http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/


It reminds me of Save Karyn, the website where Karyn
got people to donate money to help her pay off her
credit card debt and went on to write books, start a
store and then helped others deal with their debt
http://www.savekaryn-originalsite.com/


2006 Sick Day Calendar from 52 Projects a site dedicated
to projects and project-making. Project ideas, projects to
create, projects to check out, and projects to participate
in. DIY projects, homemade projects, writing projects, photo
projects, projects, projects, projects... And more projects.
http://www.52projects.com/52_projects/2006/01/2006_sick_day_c.html


Mariva has a fun blog
http://www.marivasguide.com/

We have played their drag the states game but they have
so much more online fun to try:
http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/web_games_menu.htm



More online games:
http://www.java.com/en/games/

This game sucked me in for a while:
http://www.crystalsquid.com/games/monkey_trouble.php


If you like to have a different signature for your email
all the time, try this little program for Windows:
http://www.phranc.nl/index.html


LMAO Listen to the eBay song:
http://tinafolsomphotography.com/ebay_song.html



Google Video keeps a category called Popular. It's the same
stuff you'll find on sites like http://youtube.com/ and
http://stupidvideos.com/: hilarious TV commercials that
are too racy to show in the United States, clips that would
fit right in with "America's Funniest Home Videos," and
favorite snippets from network shows. Yet among this
tidal wave of junk, you'll also find some amazing, free, jaw-
dropping caught-on-tape moments, those funny Web
videos that are passed around by e-mail and eventually
attain mythic status;
http://video.google.com/



On to the chuckles:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Always remember, money isn't everything—
but also remember to make a lot of it before talking
such fool nonsense." ~~ Earl Wilson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
~~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trouble with some women is they get all excited
about nothing, and then they marry him. ~~ Cher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance
of a good example. ~~ Mark Twain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


640K of computer memory ought to be enough for
anybody. ~~ Bill Gates, 1981

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking
for, go live with a car battery. ~~ Erma Bombeck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see
this is the problem you run into when you're between
impeachments. ~~ David Letterman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writings On the Wall

Favorite quote: "You can't fix stupid."

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.

Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first.

Why is it that lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients
but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Microsoft Windows: Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.

Take the road not taken - the leaves crunch that much louder!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Great Bumper Stickers

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

(on a dirty white car) Also available in white!

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name
streets after them.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize
you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Adults are just kids who owe money.

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!

I drive waaay too fast to worry about cholesterol.

You! Off my planet!

Go with God. (my car's full...)

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?

Fur is more actively protested than leather 'cause its
easier to harass rich women than biker gangs.

Attention: Driver carries less than $20 in ammunition.

Back off, I'm a postal worker.

I brake for tailgaters. Hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You Might Be A Democrat If...
You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, "
and still display it.

You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."

You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another
career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its
preferred tree.

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can
afford a tax hike because..."

You keep count of how many people you know in each
racial or ethnic category.

You believe our government must do it because everyone
in Europe does.

You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word
conspiracy.

You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.

You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's
trip to Hanoi.

You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy
oil companies.

You've never been mugged.

You actually expect to collect Social Security.

You think the State of Florida should have tried to
reform Ted Bundy.

You think the Great Society has actually worked.

You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.

You got teary-eyed during the film "The American
President."

You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your
commitment to recycling.

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

Your High School Year Book goals included the words
"help people."

You think the Free Market is where they hand out
Government cheese.

You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they
are just trying to defend the little guy.

You know that those profit mongering drug companies
could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

You know at least one Vegan.

You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was
driving.

You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.

You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the
real heroes.

You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your
dope dealer's stash.

You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.

You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

You think that Joan Baez had something to say.

You admire the Swedish welfare system.

You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to
Happiness."

You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%

You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call
you homophobic.

After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America
is undertaxed."

Hmmmmm I'm not as much Democrat as I thought . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many members of the Bush administration does it
take to change a light bulb?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the
light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to
have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to
Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a
janitor, standing on a step ladder under
the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book
documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on
how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing
policy all along;

10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the
difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing
the country.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you liked the Disney version of the Hunchback,
you'll love these Disney versions . . .

The Inferno by Dante Aligheri
The poet Dante (the voice of Bruce Willis) is led by his
friend Virgil (the voice of Anthony Quinn) on a magical
trip underground to the land of "Heck." Among the
delightful creatures they visit are the lovebirds Paolo
and Francesca (the voices of Andrew Dice Clay and
Rosie O'Donnell), the Crying Trees (the band Nirvana),
and the Five Singing Little Devils (the Jacksons).

Animal Farm by George Orwell
Pigs, chickens, horses -- all the familiar barnyard crowd --
are the heroes of this charming celebration of teamwork
and diversity. The poor animals, having suffered for years
on a failing farm under the tyranny of the cruel farmer
Jones (Robert Goulet), are suddenly liberated when Jones
trips and falls down a well. Though things are chaotic at
first, the kindly young pigs Snowball (Michael J. Fox) and
Napoleon (Eddie Murphy) help the animals all work
together to turn the farm into a model of efficiency and
happiness. After the animals nurse Jones back to health,
he changes his evil ways and promises to treat all living
things as his equal.

Hamlet by William Shakespeare
With his father dead and his evil uncle Claudius (Sylvester
Stallone) now ruling over the once-happy people of Denmark,
all seems lost for poor prince Hamlet (Johnny Depp). But
Hamlet's father (Leslie Nielson) is only pretending to be
dead until he can safely help place his young son on the
throne and his evil brother in jail. Featuring an underwater
ballet with the beautiful Ophelia (Bette Midler) and the
loony antics of a wise-guy skull named Yorick (Rodney
Dangerfield), Hamlet's best friend.

No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre
Old friends Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, and Minnie Mouse
are surprised to find themselves sharing a room in a
beautiful resort hotel. Their every need is catered to
by a mysterious butler (Jim Carrey). Opening in
conjunction with Walt Disney World's new attraction,
Being-and-Nothingness Land.

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Young Gregor Samsa (Arnold Schwarzenegger), over-
whelmed by the demands of his job as a clerk, wishes
each night that he was a creature without responsibility.
He is amazed one morning when he awakes to find himself
changed into a beautiful beetle, which delights his family
and terrifies his cruel boss (Jerry Seinfeld), who is
horribly afraid of insects. Jiminy Cricket guides young
Gregor to a happy community of insects that nest below
the dull city of Prague.

Oedipus Rex by Sophocles
Thanks to the advice of a wise old owl (Sally Kellerman),
a young boy (Neil Patrick Harris) avoids many traps set
by the evil fates (Candice Bergen, Cybill Shepard, and
Mary Tyler Moore) to help save Greece from disaster.
The boy, who was stolen from his family at birth, is
finally reunited with his loving mother (Barbara
Streisand) and father (Bill Cosby).

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Vladimir and Estragon (the delightful Chip 'n' Dale) wait
for Godot (Rush Limbaugh), who arrives with limitless
presents and makes all their dreams come true.
By Marv Wolfman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Milwaukee-isms

Schnecks
Local bakery products

Scon Sin
How to pronounce our state

Tyme Machines
Rest of the country calls them ATM machines

Brew Crew
Our baseball team

M'Wacky
How to pronounce our town

Side By Each
Walking together

Brot
Tailgating fare

Beer
Occasional meal

Bubbler
Water fountain

Let's Go by Baba's
Let's go to grandma's

Yah
How to end a Milwaukee sentence

Up Nort'
Hunting, fishing and drinking paradise

The Packarena
Local dance tune dedicated to our football team

Kopps
Excellent local custard stand

Kay Kay
Kinnickinnic Avenue

Brew City
That's us!

The Valley
Major industrial areas south of downtown

Tightonya
Correct pronunciation of German street named Teutonia

Dah Pack Is Back
Upbeat reference to our beloved football team

White Soda
7 up or any clear drink

Beer, Cheese & Beef
3 Wisconsin food groups

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicago-isms

The YIKE
What we call the Eisenhower

The Taste
Chicago summertime festival: Taste of Chicago

Polish Broadway
Milwaukee Avenue between Diversey & Belmont

Da Loop
Area surrounded by Dah El

Gold Coast
Ritzy northern Chicago neighborhood

Dah Bears
Our football team

Eye Bees
Italian Beef Sandwiches

Cheeseheads
Wisconsinites

Cheek AH Ga
Different way to pronounce Chicago

Da Bullz
Used to be the world's greatest basketball team

Tree
Four minus one

Pal EYE Na
Paulina street

Da Jeffer
CTA 6 Jeffery Express from loop to southside

Seven Oh Ate
Derogatory reference to suburbanites

Sassages
Favorite tailgate food

Bab
Abbreviation of Robert

Gangway
Narrow sidewalk between houses

Dah Hocks
Our hockey team

How Air You?
Chicago Greeting

LSD
Lake Shore Drive (supposedly only spoken by tourists)

Illinois State Circus
The government

Juneway Jungle
Rough neighborhood in Rogers Park

Clybourn corridor
Yuppie shopping district

The Friendly Confines
Wrigley Field

Da Mare
Chicago's Mayor

Ewes
Plural of you

The Jewels
Popular food shopping store

Chicagoland
Word to conote Chicago and suburbs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Modern Toolbox

Hammer
In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on
ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain
on oneself.

Screwdriver
The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a
professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage
you did while trying to change out a light socket with
your handy screwdriver.

Phillips Screwdriver
The bar drink that you order when the damage
estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

Pliers
A device used to extend your reach the necessary few
inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down
behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers
Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous
tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a
homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder
An annoying device that never goes off when you point
it at yourself.

Halogen Light
A worklight that lights up your backyard with the
incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast
a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that
you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill
A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90%
over a standard plug-in tool.

Cordless Telephone
The handyman's 911.

Air Compressor
A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing
the power of your mother-in-laws nagging complaints
and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off
the side of the house.

Chainsaw
Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you
accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips
A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job
you're doing or offer advice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Mike for these:


1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who
died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car." --Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take
two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." --Author
Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY,
and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's
not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing
it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them
off at the wrong house." --Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball
and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the
infant's life without even considering if there is a man on
base." --Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
They should provide severance pay, the day before they
leave you, and they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone
took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my
God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go
west.'" --Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead." --Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching
us geography." --Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but
they turned sixty and that's the law." --Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that
in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file
line from smallest to tallest ? What is the logic in that?
What, do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress...
But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high
school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the
dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!'" --Dave Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...I think this says it all...

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man
was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to
him that he was dead.


He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside
him had been deadfor years. He wondered where the road
was leading them.


After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along
one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top
of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in
the sunlight.



When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate
in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street
that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog
walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man
at a desk to one side.


When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me,
where are we?"


"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.


"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man
asked.


"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water
brought right up."


The man gestured, and the gate began to open.


"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?"
the traveler asked.


"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."


The man thought a moment and then turned back toward
the road and continued the way he had been going with his
dog.


After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that
looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.


As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning
against a tree and reading a book.


“Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any
water?"


"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."


"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to
the dog.


"There should be a bowl by the pump."


They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was
an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.


The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink
himself, then he gave some to the dog.


When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree.


"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.


"This is Heaven," he answered.


"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The
man down the road said that was Heaven, too."


"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."


“Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name
like that?"


"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks
who would leave their best friends behind."


Soooo...


Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding
jokes to us without writing a word.


Maybe this will explain.


When you are very busy, but still want to keep in
touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.


When you have nothing to say, but still want to
keep contact, you forward jokes.


When you have something to say, but don't know
what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.


Also to let you know that you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you
are still cared for, guess what you get?


A forwarded joke.


So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that
you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but
that you've been thought of today and your friend
on the other end of your computer wanted to send
you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little old lady is walking down the street in Green Bay,
dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each
hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in
a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are
$20 bills falling out of that bag..."

"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and
see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning .

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get
all that money?" " Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard
backs up to the parking lot of the Lambeau Field. Each
time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the
bushes, right into my flower beds!" "So, I go and stand
behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each
time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes,
I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck!
By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", says the
little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest
almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never
been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the priest
caught Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you
decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you, Father. A
while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love
that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me
hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every
Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his
hat during Mass and I figured he would leave it in the
back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion
and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't
steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10
Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal
McGlynn's hat."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I
talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you
would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell,
right?"

Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after
you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'
I remembered where I left me hat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 THOUGHTS TO PONDER:

Number 10 -Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 -Good health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.

Number 8 -Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 -Give a person a fish and you feed him for a
day; teach a person to use the Internet and he won't
bother you for weeks.

Number 6 -Some people are like a Slinky.........not really
good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when
you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 -Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 -All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 -Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars,and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty
cents?

Number 2 -In the 1960's, people took acid to make the
world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know
exactly where one cow with 'mad cow disease' is located
amongst the millions of cows in America; but, we haven't
a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and
terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in
charge of immigration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!

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http://stores.ebay.com/Jewelry-Avon-and-all-that-Jazz

Thanks and have a great week!


Copyright 2006 by Shane and Associates