Fun on the Web vol 4 Issue 24

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 4 Issue 24 June 20, 2005


Another gorgeous weekend here in Wisconsin and I guess
I got my share of fresh air and sunshine. Amanda and I
took the grandkids to this really cool park on Saturday
where they could climb around and then on Sunday we
headed to the Aquatic Center in Sun Prairie.


Retirement age change to 69?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/14/AR2005061401257_pf.html

Time magazine details interrogation log
http://www.time.com/time/press_releases/article/0,8599,1071230,00.html


If it's Bush plans, perhaps obstructionist is a good thing
http://www.washtimes.com/national/20050614-114627-2954r.htm


Summer time tip from Jiffy Lube
During the summer, be sure to crank up the heat. Sound
crazy? Once a month, try to turn on your heater for 1-2
minutes to let the fluid circulate. This will help keep your
heater's core clean and prevent corrosion.

My friend Mike sent me this link. I checked it out on
Snopes.com the Urban myth site. Here’s a link for mail order https://www.costco.com/Pharmacy/frameset.asp?trg=HCFrame.asp&hcban=Banner.asp&hctar=rxAbout.asp&catid=678&Article=pharmacy%20information

Here's the link to check it out and see the cost savings
http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/generic.asp



The Medical Library Association offers tips on deciphering
medspeak (the lingo used in the medical field)
http://www.mlanet.org/resources/medspeak/

Do you still have Girl Scout cookies you don't know what to
do with (besides eat them from the box)? Try these recipes:
http://www.girlscoutcookiesabc.com/atc/recipes/

Some recipes from Newman's Own products
http://www.stonyfield.com/Recipes/NewmanRecipes.cfm

If you're a gardener or plan to landscape your yard, please
consider planting species that provide both food and shelter
to birds. Think of these species as "bed and breakfast"
plantings for birds. Some of the more popular B&B plants
include:
* Annuals: amaranthus (Amaranthus sp.), coreopsis
(Coreopsis sp.), cosmos (Cosmos sp.), marigold (Tagetes sp.),
sunflower (Helianthus sp.), zinnia (Zinnia sp.)
* Perennials: aster (Aster sp.), goldenrod (Solidago sp.),
black-eyed Susan (Rudbeckia sp.), purple coneflower
(Echinacea purpurea), and many grasses such as little
bluestem (Andropogon)
* Shrubs: sumac (Rhus sp.), elderberry (Sambucus sp.),
viburnum (Viburnum sp.), boxwood (Buxus sp.)
* Small trees: holly (Ilex sp.), serviceberry(Amelanchier
sp.), dogwood (Cornus sp.)
* Fruiting trees and shrubs: blueberry (Vaccinium sp.),
cherry (Prunus sp.), crab apple (Malus sp.), hawthorn
(Crataegus sp.), mountain ash (Sorbus sp.), spicebush
(Lindera), sassafras (Sassafras), and black gum (Nyssa
sylvatica)


Who owns your wedding photos?
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20050607/1945250_F.shtml

Poetry and prose from a blog
http://spaces.msn.com/members/aginghippies/

Challenge Darth Vader (from Burger King) Don't miss
the Prologue (pretty funny):
http://www.sithsense.com/flash.htm


What breed of dog are you?
http://web.tickle.com/dog/authorize/register.jsp?url=/dog/index.jsp

Things cats must remember
http://www.my-tgif.com/catsremember.htm

Need a great line to "dump" that loser:
http://www.budugllydesign.com/archiveow/top100/dumping.htm

More top and bottom lists:
http://budugllydesign.com/archiveow/top100/index.html

Play fridge magnets with others or download a single player
version just for yourself
http://web.okaygo.co.uk/apps/letters/flashcom/

Play solitare online or download version
http://www.kewlbox.com/games/game.cfm?gameId=128&utm_source=kewlbox&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=march-game-promo2

Look at these silly shop names:
http://www.shophorror.co.uk/pages/gallery.html

Ever heard of a Bazantar? Or a Bonang? If you'd like to see
these and other odd musical instruments go here:
http://www.oddmusic.com/gallery/index.html

Some programs designed for earlier versions of Windows
won't run under Windows XP. Until you can get your hands
on a program upgrade for Windows XP, you can try running
the program in one of Windows XP Compatibility Modes by
following these steps:
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-355.html



On with the chuckles:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Instead of listening to music during your morning drive
to work, Playboy is now offering nude pictures that
people can download on their iPods. In a related story,
Playboy has bought a controlling interest in every auto
repair shop in America.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As my five-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's
one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see
something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who
might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should
pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request:"Please,
God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A computer *Does* save time at work. I can play solitaire
without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in
Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman
walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and
quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman
if she would like a ride.

After a bit of small talk while resuming the journey, the
Navajo woman noticed a brown bag in the seat next to Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle
of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for a moment; then speaking
with the quiet wisdom of an elder said........."Good trade."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I
was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanting to surprise her husband, an executive's wife
stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she
found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without
hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen,
budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to
operate this office with just one chair."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I heard a rumor that the White House burned down and
Bush's library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! Up in
flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Seuss On Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad --
can you tell?
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost
60 years, die in a car crash. They had been in good
health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's
neurotic interest in health food.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took
them to their mansion, which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed", the old man asked Peter
how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to see the championship golf
course the home backed up to. They would have golfing
privileges every day, and each week the course changed
to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is
heaven. It's free!"

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?"
the old man asked timidly.

"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like
of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never
get sick. This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your
damn bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago...!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife
of fifty years suggested they take a cruise: "We could go
somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did
when we were young!" He thought it over and agreed.

He put on his hat and went down to the pharmacy, where
he bought a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms.
Upon returning home, his wife said ''I've been thinking.
There is no reason we can't go for a month." So Mr.
Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for
twelve bottles of seasick pills and a box of condoms.

When he returned his wife said, ''You know, since the
children are on their own, what's stopping us from
cruising the world?" So back to the pharmacy he went,
and brought 297 bottles of seasick pills and the same
amount of condoms up to the counter.

The pharmacist finally had to ask. "You know, Mr.
Johnson, you have been doing business with me for over
thirty years. I certainly don't mean to pry, but if it makes
you that sick, why the hell do you do it?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q:How are politicians like diapers?
A:You have to change them both often, and for the
same reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Mike for these
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing; the instructor was
teaching the women how to breathe properly. She was
also telling the men how to give the necessary assurances
to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said first, "Ladies, remember that exercise is GOOD
for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens
the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much
easier."Then she looked at the men in the room. "And
Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. So it
wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed
this information.Then a man at the back of the room
slowly raised his hand."Yes?" asked the teacher."

I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she
carries a golf bag?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Anita for these
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that
our government can track a cow born in Canada almost
three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the
state of Washington, and they tracked her calves to their
stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give
them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq.
Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot
of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and
we're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments
in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal,"
"Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie"
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...

It creates a hostile work environment.

And Last but not least.....

George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I
feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and
Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too,
but they take the one woman in America willing to cook,
clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off to jail."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!

If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter,
please send it to them, complete with my e-mail address
so that they can subscribe.

If you would like a free subscription, send an e-mail to
bluesbaby.us@gmail.com with subscribe in the subject line.

If you missed an issue or would like to refer back to a
link or a funny, I am in the process of adding the back
issues to an archive here: http://more-blues.blogspot.com/

If you would prefer I remove you from my mailing
please respond with unsubscribe in the subject line.