Fun on the Web vol 4 Issue 9

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 4 Issue 9 March 7, 2005

Still waiting for spring here, we have glimpses like yesterdays
55 degree day but then we plunge again to 14 degrees by
tomorrow night. So I thought this Haiku was appropriate for
our forecast for later since it's supposed to snow.
"There is neither heaven nor earth,
only snow,
falling incessantly."~~Hashin

If you have ever downloaded a song, used TiVo, or even
taped a live performance the Electronic Frontier Foundation
has a message for you. Here is a list of endangered gizmos:
http://www.eff.org/endangered/

I like this science news site
http://www.livescience.com/

On a serious note Mike sent this:
Congress passed a law that allows one one free credit report
a year. It varied by state but Wisconsin’s and the Midwest
came up March 1st. You have three to choose from. It is a
secure site. You don’t get your credit # but you can fix any
incorrect information.
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp

Thanks to Mike for this news article about Bush and
his new Indian name "Walking Eagle".
http://educate-yourself.org/cn/walkingeagle26feb05.shtml

Thanks to Mike for this news article from TIME about
the meeting between Bush and Putin. It's hard to tell
who is more "on the defensive".
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1032354,00.html

If you just can't stomach the "real" news anymore check
out this news parody site:
http://www.thedailyfarce.com/

If your Valentine is no longer the apple of your eye you
can commiserate here:
http://www.sourhearts.com/

Not my cup of tea, since if it ain't blues I just don't care,
but if your taste runs to hiphop, rnb, pop or world music
check out this site for news in that genre
http://www.bandnews.org


LMAO video of Jim Carey as Vanilla Ice
http://photomatt.net/dropbox/2004/04/Jim_Carrey_as_Vanilla_Ice.mpg


That was almost as funny as the squirrel on this site.
Be sure to check out the how to play link.
http://www.harmonicanecklace.com/

Holy cow! This may be the ultimate SNL (that's Saturday
Night Live) tribute. A site with almost 2600 transcripts
not all of them but some from shows dating back to 1975,
plus great SNL links and a message forum.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/index.phtml

Countdown for the best loved toys from "Britain's
Favourite Vintage TV Website"
http://tv.cream.org/extras/toys/index.html


Really cute kitten photos
http://www.ratemykitten.com/bestof.html


Free flashgames online
http://www.kendude.com/


Which Dr. Seuss Character are You?
http://quizilla.com/users/amishlurker/quizzes/Which%20Dr.%20Seuss%20character%20are%20you?/

Well I know I am not the first to get into blogging but I'm
probably not the last either. I am mixing two of them at
this point with good results.
http://spaces.msn.com/members/bluesbaby-us
This is a good basic blog with no HTML learning needed
plus pictures can be added easily. It has size limitations
so storing the whole of FUN on the WEB plus anything
else could be sticky.

The other blog is where I will be archiving FUN on the
WEB since the existing bluesbaby site is loaded with pop
ups. It takes a little more know how and doesn't provide
the whole package tied up in a bow like MSN Spaces does
but I think it will work better for me.
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/

To get your own blog there go to
http://www.blogger.com/home

To add pictures to blogger or send them quickly to your
friends without even having to open your email. I hear
you can chat and share pics easily as well. Thanks to
Anita for suggesting this nifty program.
https://secure.hello.com

While I was at it, I started to explore a site called Multiply.
"Multiply combines "network"-based messaging with the
same internet applications that many of us use every day. "
"With multi-messaging as the foundation, each Multiply
user has a personal web page to post digital photo albums,
blogs, upcoming events (on a calendar), movie and
restaurant reviews and more."
http://multiply.com/info/about

Free fonts, design tools, and other freeware
http://spaces.msn.com/members/soundblog/Blog/cns!1pXOS7l93k8mqeQ7FlEEmOSQ!592.entry

Trackback for above blog
http://spaces.msn.com/members/soundblog/blog/cns!1pXOS7l93k8mqeQ7FlEEmOSQ!592.trak

Lots of fun creative digital music info

http://createdigitalmusic.com/index.php

Cool site for listening to music; an "online community
of 100,000 exciting, individual digital musicians and
videographers. You (can) create and upload your own
music and videos for the world to experience. Or listen
to music (or watch video) created by others."
http://www.acidplanet.com/

Ever wonder what your dreams mean? Try this dream
interpretation dictionary.
http://www.soulfuture.com/dream_dictionary/dream_dictionary_main.asp

One of the stranger mysteries of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of
the Moon while watching the Wizard of Oz - they synch up.
Start the CD at the third roar of the MGM lion at the very
beginning of the movie and set your CD player to loop the
album. NPR did an audio story on this
http://www.npr.org/ramfiles/asc/2003.04.30.oz.asx


Speaking of listening WITR out of Rochester has Blues on
Sundays from 10 am to 3 pm here
http://www.baddogblues.com/listen.htm
as well as archives you can access 24/7 much like WMSE
(their Blues Drive is 3 - 6 pm Monday thru Friday plus
Saturday morning 9 - noon and 3 - 6 am Tuesdays)
with archives available 24/7 here:
http://www.wmse.org/schedule.php


On to the chuckles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The top 10 Blonde inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A dictionary index
7) Ejector seat in a helicopter
8) Powdered water
9)Pedal-powered wheel chair
10) Water-proof tea bag

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland.

After being in the car for four hours they finally saw
a sign that said "Disneyland "Left", so they turned
around and went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of
Cheerios?
Oh look...Doughnut seeds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when
the brunette said,"Oh look at the dead bird."
The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where, where?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as
opposed to a Regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front
of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Blonde and a Brunette get in an Elevator.
A cute guy gets on at the same time, but he had bad
dandruff. When he leaves the Brunette says "he's cute,
someone should give him head and shoulders though"
the blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he
entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside
and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F."

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her
biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F"
another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with
a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time
she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was so blonde that...
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to make up her mind
....she tried to drown a fish
....she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
....she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
....when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around
the home, she moved
....it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
....she thought a quarterback was a refund
....she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All these girls are looking for their prince charming.
Me? I found mine a long time ago. The only problem
is I’ll never be his Cinderella.~~ Author Unknown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ABC's Of Your Ex
A is for the bad ass you thought he was
B is for BULLSHIT, which is what he was full of.
C is for the commitment that was never there.
D is for "Damn the bad luck" which is what I have
in dating men.
E is for everything he said we'd do, everything he
said he was, and everything he's not.
E is also for ego. His was bigger than a hot air balloon.
F is for faithful, as long as there wasn't something or
someone better to do.
G is for GOD the one he thought he was and wanted
to be worshipped as.
G is also for the spot he could never find!
H is for laughter (HA! HA!) the last sound he heard
from me as he was walking out the door.
I is for Impotent which is what I told everyone he was.
I is also for the inbreeding that occurred in his podunk family.
J is for jugular, the one I'd love to sever.
K is for Key, the one that made the lovely designs on his truck.
K is also for Kick in the balls which is what I'm gonna
give him if I see him again.
L is for Love in most cases, but exceptions have been
made, L is for LOSER in this case, along with LUSH
(he drank an awful lot).
M is for MAN. Has anyone been able to find one?
Have you ever met one? Do you know where any are?
N is for the narcotics. He drove me past alcohol.
O is for the orgasm he thought he made me have.
P is for PAYBACKS. Remember they are HELL!
Q is for queer. I sometimes wonder if he is.
R is for the hopeless romantic he said he was. He was
half right. He was hopeless, not to mention worthless.
R is also for the ring that he can't afford and will never buy.
S is for the sugar they found in his gas tank.
S is also for satisfied, which he rarely made me feel.
T is for typical. Typical little boy playing at being a man.
U is for umbilical cord which was never severed when
his mother gave birth.
U is also for the ugly girl he is dating now.
V is for the voodoo doll I made of him. Pins are inserted
of course.
W is for wife, the one he said he didn't have.
X is what he is to me now!!!!
Y is for why the hell did I ever get involved with him.
Z is for the zoloft that I had to start taking.
. is for period, which is a good excuse that comes in
handy once a month!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time for Trivia

Disney World is bigger than the world's 5 smallest countries.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

In 1926, when a Los Angeles restaurant owner with the all-
American name of Bob Cobb was looking for a way to use up
leftovers, he threw together some avocado, celery, tomato,
chives, watercress, hard-boiled eggs, chicken, bacon, and
Roquefort cheese, and named it after himself: Cobb salad.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la
Reina de los Angeles de Poriuncula" and can be abbreviated
to 3.63 percent of its size: "L.A."

'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only
the left hand.

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.

The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating
a letter is 'uncopyrightable'.

The first book ever written on a typewriter was "The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer". Mark Twain used a Remington
in 1875.

In the book, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, is one sentence
that is 823 words long. When Victor wrote to his editor
inquiring about their opinion of the manuscript, he wrote,
"?" They answered, "!"

In 1939 an author named Ernest Vincent wrote a 50,000 word
novel called Gadsby. The only thing unusual about the novel
is that there is not a single letter e in the whole thing.

Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170
miles per hour.

Whispering is more wearing on your voice than a normal
speaking tone.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was the first - and only - recipient of a
Golden Globe Award for "Most Glamorous Actress." She
won the peculiar award in 1958. The category was deleted
thereafter.

The first speeding ticket was issued in 1902.

Most American car horns beep in the key of F.

In 1923, 173 new inventions by women for cars had been
reported. Among these inventions were a carburetor and an
electric engine starter.

Jimmy Carter was the first President born in a hospital.

At Andrew Jackson's funeral in 1845, his pet parrot had to be
removed because it was swearing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quotes
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth
has a chance to get its pants on."~~ Winston Churchill

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there
are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can
always write a book."~~ Ronald Reagan

"The post office has just issued a new Ronald Reagan
stamp. 170 million of the stamps have already been sold.
This makes Ronald Reagan the most licked president since...
I think Clinton."~~ David Letterman

"We have had 32 inches of rain. Thirty-two inches! Oh,
my God. Has anybody seen Gary Coleman?"~~ Jay Leno

"Virtue is often the result of insufficient temptation."
~~ Cheers, George

"I don't think we should be governing ourselves. What
we need is a king, and every now and then if the king's
not doing a good job, we kill him."~~ George Carlin

"People who say they don't care what people think are
usually desperate to have people think they don't care
what people think."~~ George Carlin

"A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the
wisest men."~~ Roald Dahl

"Who can untangle the tangle of this world?"
~~Buddhagosa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A golfer hits a big slice on the first hole, and his ball
ends up behind a small shed. He's about to chip out
when the caddy says, "Wait! I'll open the window and
the door, then you can hit a 3-wood right through the
shed." After the caddy opens the escape route, the
golfer makes a big swing. The ball nearly makes it, but
hits the windowsill, then bounces back and hits the
golfer in the head.

The next thing the golfer knows, he's standing at
the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter sees him with his 3-
wood in hand and says, "I guess you think you're a
pretty good golfer."

And the guy says, "Hey, I got here in two, didn't I?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Scot says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have Scotch."
The Swede says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit."
The Japanese says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have sake."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Greek says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEW CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
* The third verse of "Blessed Assurance" will be sung
without musical accomplishment.
* Attend our banquet and you will hear an excellent
speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.
* The pastor will preach his farewell message, after
which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
* 22 members were present at the church meeting held
at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.
Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The
Lord Knows Why."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A rich Texan walked into the offices of the president of a
small Texas college and said, "I'd like to donate a million
dollars tax free to this institution. But there's a condition.
I would like to have an honorary degree."

The president nodded agreeably, "That's not a problem.
We can certainly arrange that!"

The rich man said, "An honorary degree for my *horse*."

"For your horse???"

"Yep, you betcha. She carried me for many years and I
owe her a lot. I'd like her to receive a Tr.D., a Doctor of
Transportation."

"But . . . we can't give a degree to a *horse*!"

"Then I'm afraid I'll have to take my million dollars to
another educational institution."

"Well, wait a minute," said the president, seeing the
million slip through his fingers, "Let me consult with
the school's trustees."

A hurried trustee meeting was brought to order and the
president related the deal and the condition. All of the
board reacted with shock and disbelief -- except the
oldest trustee. He appeared almost asleep.

One trustee snorted, "We can't give a *horse* an honorary
degree -- no matter HOW much money is involved."

The oldest trustee opened his eyes and said, "Take the
money and give the horse the degree."

The president asked, "Don't you think that would be a
disgrace to us?"

"Of course not, " the wise old trustee said. "It would be
an honor. It'd be the first time we ever gave a degree to
an ENTIRE horse."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Signs You're Drinking a "Woman's Beer"
-- Every time you have to go to the bathroom, you find
yourself asking a friend to come along.
-- After two of them, you find yourself arguing that figure
skating actually *is* a sport.
-- Your belches come out potpourri-scented.
-- The label boasts that it's this month's recommendation
from Oprah's Beer Club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?
DOBERMAN: Immediately decides to change the brand of
light bulb and find a more efficient form of lighting --
perhaps a fluorescent bulb.
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: One, but just "try" to convince
them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be
thrown away.
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: Two, but the job never gets done --
they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how
it's supposed to be done!
BULLDOG: Just one. But it takes them three years to do it.
POMERANIANS don't change light bulbs, although sometimes
their agent will get a German Shepherd in to do the job for
them while they're out.
PUG: Er, two. Or maybe one. No -- on second thought, make
that two. Is that OK with you?
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young,
we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
or... GOLDEN RETRIEVER: "I'll be glad to change the light
bulb for you, but first can't we play catch with the tennis ball,
or Frisbee -- and then I want to lick your face and rest my
head in your lap and look up at you with my sad eyes. What,
you're changing the light bulb yourself -- you didn't have to
do that -- but I looooove you so much for being my friend
and doing that."
AFGHAN: Light bulb? What light bulb?
CAT: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
SHIBA-INU: Zero! Shibas aren't afraid of the dark!
SCHIPPERKE: It's your light bulb -- change it yourself.
Unless... Is there food involved??
POODLE: Sorry, Just had my nails done.
BEAGLE: How many cookies do I get?
WEIMARANER: What?? Light bulb? You want ME to change
a LIGHT BULB?
LAB: Why change it? The darker it is, the longer I can sleep.
BASENJI: LIGHT BULB? We don't change no stinking light
bulbs!
MALAMUTE: Let *him* do it. You can pet me while he's busy.
BOXER: If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit
falling off the chair...
AMERICAN BULLDOG: One. JUMP, remove bulb, land.
JUMP, replace bulb, land. Two: What light bulb, So? We can
play in the dark.
DALMATIAN: Just one, but it will really hate the new bulb.
ROTTWEILER: I'll change the light bulb if I can eat the old one.
CORGI: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
SPRINGER: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was
a light bulb?
STANDARD POODLE: None. Go get human, sit under it, look
up and point it out -- then go lie down in disgust that it took so
long.
BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And he'll rewire the house while
he's at it.
WOLFDOG: Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it
made of, what's inside of it, what will happen if I drop it? I
might change it, but let me think about it. You're not trying
to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea.
I think I'll change that light bulb!
GERMAN SHEPHERD: "I'm kinda busy right now! I have to
chase the cat, protect the kids, herd the horses, beg for food
and take a nap. I'll add the light bulb to my "To Do" list..."
DACHSHUND: Well, first get me a ladder and a treat...no,
you took too long. I want TWO treats and I'll do it......... No,
not that treat, the other kind. Geez......do I have to do
everything? (of course, followed by "the look".)
IRISH SETTER: It only takes one, but it will put in a really
dim bulb.
PIT BULL TERRIER: Jump and take hold of the old light bulb.
Now, let go of the old light bulb... I said LET GO OF THE
LIGHT BULB! Please???? Let go of the light bulb??????
Let go? GOOD OL'
SOUTHERN HOUND DOG: Huh????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Erin for this blonde joke with a moral
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty
thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I'm completely nude."With that, she stripped from
the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby,
Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and
squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"She hugged each
of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one
of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were
watching."

Moral -Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Mike for this note
The U.S. Postal Service created a stamp earlier this
year with a picture of President Bush to honor his
achievements while in office. However, it was found
that in daily use the stamp was not sticking to
envelopes at all. So the President established a blue
ribbon commission to determine the reason for such
a defect.

After a month's testing, the commission made the
following findings:
1. The stamp was found to be in perfect order.
2. There was nothing wrong with the consistency of
the applied adhesive.
3. People were just spitting on the wrong side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Erin for this blonde joke
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through
the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of
genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very
reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were
asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no
haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out
and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes
for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little
lady, just go and give it a try!"

The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined
to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he
pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that
same young woman standing waist deep in the murky
bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge
9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning
speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto
the slimy bank of the swamp.

Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all
lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank,
watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and
flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heaven-
ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out .
"SHIT!!!!... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!

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